How to gain self-confidence

How to gain self-confidence

Self-confidence is a key ingredient to feel fulfilled and live the life you want. However, it is not acquired overnight. Fortunately, it is possible to gradually strengthen it using various techniques.

In this article, I will share with you my best tips for gaining the confidence you still lack. You will see, there are many tips for learning to love yourself and be proud of the person you are. ❤️

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1. Identify your strengths

Take the time to think objectively about your strengths. What are your talents, your skills, your personal qualities that define who you are? Make a list of everything you do well, your diplomas, your achievements that you are proud of.


Also think about what makes you unique: your passions, your values, your personality. Identify at least 5 things that you like about yourself and that others like too. By becoming aware of your strengths, you will realize how much resources you have within you.

This awareness is the foundation of a unshakeable self-confidence. Keep this list handy and add to it regularly. Your talents are unique and define your value as a human being!

2. Work on your posture 🧍‍♀️

To perfect a posture conducive to confidence, take regular self-observation time during the day. Straighten up whenever you become aware that your shoulders have slumped or your head has fallen into your shoulders. It will become a reflex.

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Also take advantage of relaxation or meditation time to check that each part of your body is positioned correctly: head straight and high, shoulders relaxed, shoulder blades close together, stomach tucked in, pelvis and knees well aligned. Feel the strength you exude.

Also learn to take up more space, without fear of judgment from others. When seated, spread your legs shoulder-width apart rather than crossed. In line at the cafeteria, widen your base of support by opening your feet.

In meetings, allow yourself to lean back in your seat instead of perched on the edge. This kind of attitude unconsciously reflects that you feel legitimate and in your place. Your insurance will gradually increase.

3. Dare to speak out 🗣️

Speaking in public is an excellent exercise for developing self-confidence. However, it is a situation that a majority of people fear. There fear of being judged or ridiculed can paralyze. Start by speaking in a safe and caring context, in front of a small group of known people. Express a personal opinion, make a suggestion in a meeting, share an experience.

Accept the nervousness you may feel. Focus on your message rather than your physical feelings of stress. It will gradually become more comfortable.

Then, increase the difficulty: larger audience, less familiar people… The fact of successfully transmitting your message in all circumstances considerably strengthens your self-confidence. This is also reflected in other areas of your life.

Also, if you feel nervous, use breathing techniques to relax before speaking. Remember positive signs from the audience like nodding heads that prove they are interested in your speech.

4. Act outside your comfort zone 🥾

Get out of your comfort zone is fundamental if you want to develop your self-confidence. Your comfort zone is made up of activities in which you feel on familiar, safe ground. However, we do not progress or discover ourselves by always remaining in this reassuring zone.

Gradually start setting yourself small challenges that take you out of your element, but in a measured way. For example, If you're shy, make it a goal to talk to a stranger every day. Or if you're afraid of heights, plan to do an activity a few meters above the ground.

Accept the fear or embarrassment that these new experiences may cause. Focus on achieving them fully rather than on the outcome. Congratulate yourself for every small victory you achieve over yourself!

Your successes, however small, prove to you your ability to confront the unknown. Your self-confidence will grow exponentially through these challenges. And over time, you will push your limits even further!

5. Surround yourself with people who believe in you 🤝

Those around us have a considerable effect on our self-confidence. People who love us and believe in our potential constitute “mirrors” positive, ongoing sources of validation.

Surround yourself with caring loved ones who value your strengths and your unique talents. Friends who point out your progress rather than pointing out your flaws. Members of your family whose gaze motivates you to surpass yourself.

Furthermore, also identify positive and encouraging colleagues in your professional sphere. Their constructive feedback on your work will push you to take initiatives and to propose more of your ideas. Surround yourself with this inspiring energy allows you to remember your fundamental value as a human being, beyond failures or errors. This is a key to preserving self-esteem.

Because sooner or later we end up internalizing what those close to us “send back” towards us. So choose your mirrors carefully so that they reflect the best you have! ❤️

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6. Accept your imperfections 🤷‍♀️

We all have imperfections, faults, weaknesses. No one is perfect in every way. And yet, our lack of self-confidence is often linked to an excessive focus on our mistakes.

The secret is to calmly accept these shadows, these little inner wounds. Tell yourself that these flaws are part of what makes you unique as a human being. They don’t take away from your unique strengths and talents.

Look with compassion at some of your past blunders or mistakes. They are not representative of your full potential. Above all, these are opportunities to learn in order to evolve!

Also pay attention to that harsh and demanding little inner voice. Counter it with a softer, more loving voice: “I kindly accept myself as I am“. By accepting all aspects of yourself, the beautiful and the less beautiful parts, you will find an inner serenity conducive to authentic confidence.

7. Play down failure 😅

Failure is an integral part of all life and should in no way undermine self-confidence. Indeed, success is only possible through attempts, some of which are failures that allow us to progress.

See each failure as a source of feedback and a springboard to success rather than a personal drama. Coldly analyze what went wrong to learn useful lessons. The next attempt has even more chance of succeeding!

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Also put the scope of a setback into perspective. Our mistakes do not entirely define us as a person. They just reveal skills to improve or a less suitable strategy. Nothing dramatic! Finally, congratulate yourself for every risk-taking and initiative even if its outcome is disappointing.

8. Work on your inner language 🗣️

Inner language, this dialogue with ourselves, has a crucial power over our confidence. Indeed, our thoughts directly influence our emotions and our behaviors.

If your inner voice is negative, if you constantly criticize yourself, it is impossible to be calm and assured. Conversely, by adopting kind and positive self-talk, you strengthen your sense of personal worth.

You will also need overcome imposter syndrome. As soon as you become aware of limiting thoughts like “I will not arrive there“, “it’s not for me”, qualify them. Replace them with constructive encouragement: “I can do it if I give myself the means”, “I have talents to develop”. Create personalized mantras that resonate with you.

Your confidence will grow as you cultivate this reflex of self-compassion and self-esteem. Because we become what we think!

9. Set yourself challenges 🎯

Setting yourself stimulating challenges helps to sustainably increase your self-confidence, by forcing you to step out of your comfort zone.

Start with mini-challenges adapted to your current level before gradually increasing the difficulty. Think for example of a personal development project such as learning to meditate, taking care of your body or setting aside time dedicated to your passions.

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Choose a goal that is meaningful to you. Then detail realistic and feasible sub-objectives. Establish a timeline and stick to it. By achieving each of these small victories, your sense of self-efficacy will be strengthened.

Relationship challenges also provide great opportunities to boost your self-esteem. Dare to approach someone you like, accept that social invitation or organize an event.

10. Focus on the path, not the result ✅

When undertaking a personal or professional project, it is tempting to immediately focus on the desired end result. However, this expectation of success at all costs can undermine self-confidence.

The key is to learn to fully savor the path, to appreciate each action leading to the goal. Focus all your attention on the step you are carrying out with passion and attention to detail. The rest will wait.

Also regularly evaluate the progress you have already made with pride. Every little progress is a significant victory that should be celebrated! Measure the progress already accomplished compared to your starting point to become aware of the work done.

By valuing the process day after day in this way, the end goal matters less than the journey itself. You strengthen self-acceptance and confidence in your ability to successfully pursue your path. The final destination doesn’t matter!


Cultivating authentic self-confidence is fundamental work that requires patience and compassion towards yourself. It's nothing more and nothing less about learning to love ourselves as we are, with our assumed strengths and weaknesses.

I hope this article has given you concrete ideas to begin this magnificent journey. Dare to step out of your comfort zone! Surround yourself with caring people! Work on your posturee and your inner language! Each small challenge overcome strengthens your feeling of effectiveness.

Above all, be proud of how far you have already come! You are the person in your life who best knows your unique talents and incredible potential. So trust yourself like your best friend would!

Cultivate this unconditional love of yourself every day. Be your biggest support! If outer confidence falters, this solid inner foundation will carry you through no matter what. I sincerely wish you to begin this fantastic journey towards self-acceptance today. You fully deserve it!

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